What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
