After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
