Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
