its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
