PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
