Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
