I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I want to be your penis for a week.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
