what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
