She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
