East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
