new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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