jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
