Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Me. At least after what I've been through.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
