there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize