i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
ttyl tear gas
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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