Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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