this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
