So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
