my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
