While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
