we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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