I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
