No subtext here. People are naked.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize