OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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