it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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