So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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