Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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