OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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