When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
