You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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