new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
too bad you live with your parents still
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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