Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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