Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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