He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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