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it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
