i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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