i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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