I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
