considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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