i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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