Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
