Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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