i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
