idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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