i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
