yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
