Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
