It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
