So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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