u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
