We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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