just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
