i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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