Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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